"A woman commissioned an artist to paint her portrait
for a fee of ?300. She immediately wrote out a cheque
and handed it to him.
Artist:" I thought we had agreed a fee of ?300 but you
have made it out for ?400."
Woman:" Yes, I know; but I find it a bit embarrassing.
Would you have any objection to paint me in the nude?"
Artist;" None whatsoever provided, because the floor
is cold, that I can keep my socks on."


A woman who worked among children in the Middle East
drove herself about her district by jeep, and was
annoyed to find that not only had she run out of
petrol, but that the jerrican she usually carried, was
missing. She remembered that she had passed a petrol
station a mile back, and being a woman of resource,
she took out the only receptacle she had suitable for
her purpose, a child's chamber-pot, trudged back to
the garage, had the vessel filled and walked back to
the jeep.
When she was pouring the contents of the pot into the
tank, she became aware that an enormous Cadillac, full
of wealthy oil-sheiks, had stopped on the road beside
her jeep, and the occupants were observing her with
much interest. Eventually one of the Arabs got out and
came over to her.
"Excuse me Sister," he said courteously, "My friends
and I would like to assure you that, although we
obviously do not share your religion, we greatly
admire your faith."
Pertti